Every one knows that the big new thing is the Comic Book movie.  Be it the indie books like Ghost World or Road To Perdition making a spin on the film community or Watchmen which in a deconstructive examination of what we think comics are, we are in the age of the comic book film, and none are more profitable at the moment than the super hero genre.

Dark Knight is the top grossing film of all time.  It was a good movie.  But what about all those movies and TV shows that were based off of comics that didn’t make it that big?  No, I’m not talking about the 1960s Batman show, Man Thing, or even that 1990s Flash TV series.  No, I wanted to dig deeper.  I wanted to give you something to look at and go, “why the fuck did they do this?”

#7. Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. (1998)

The Hasslehoff!  Take that Samuel L Jackson.

#6.Spirit

Not the one you’re thinking of.  That would be too easy.

Makes ya want that Frank Miller P-O-S now, don’t ya?

#5.  Generation X (1996)

Gaaaaah.

#4. Captain America (1990)

hehehehe.  Those are laughters of tears.

#3. Captain America (1979)

Oh, Don’t worry.  I didn’t forget about you, too, little guy.

Stan Lee is spinning in his soon-to-be-constructed grave.

#2. Dr. Strange (1978)

Oh, yes.  It’s real.

Too bad the producers didn’t do more research on the comic book sales to figure out this was a huge hit in the late 60s and early 70s because the kids who were buying were baked out of their fucking gords.  Has any ever read a Dr Strange book and said, “hm, that wasn’t that bad.”

#1. Fantastic Four (1994)

This is the reason, when I worked at Hollywood Video, when people would come in and want to find Fantastic Four, I would ask them, “which one?”  Then they’d give me that WTF-look like I was retarded.  Then I hit them with a mop handle on the back of the knees.

Is it me, or does it look like Corman just looked at the covers of a bunch of issue of FF and said, “I got, where’s my camera?”