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Star Wars wins.

Sure to make One-Sheet a happy boy.

here is the official press release:

Mondo, the collectible art boutique arm of Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, is pleased to announce a partnership with Intervision Picture Corporation to release 1983’s SLEDGEHAMMER on VHS. SLEDGEHAMMER, the first shot-on-tape slasher movie for the home video market, will be the first video release of Mondo Video, a label created to release rare genre films in a collectible VHS format. The VHS release will coincide with the film’s first release on DVD and a Terror Tuesday screening on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 at Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, TX. Mondo Video’s SLEDGEHAMMER includes the original box art and copy from the 1983 VHS release and will be available for purchase only at MondoTees.com on Wednesday, May 11, 2011. The Intervision DVD will also be available for purchase on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 at http://amzn.to/sledgehammerDVD.

Mondo creative director Justin Ishmael says, “I am downright crazy about VHS, so it gives me great pride that we get to make SLEDGEHAMMER the first release on our new Mondo Video label. There has been a major resurgence in VHS collecting the last few years after it was announced that the tapes would stop being made, so being fans ourselves, we jumped at the opportunity to actually resurrect the format and release some of our favorite movies on VHS. People thought they killed the video tape back in 2008, but like a phoenix, it is rising from the ashes! Never Forget!”

“Either by way of budget constraints, warped vision or both,” says Intervision marketing director Evan Husney, “SLEDGEHAMMER is a piece of a cinematic underbelly from a universe all its own. This is the new cult canon: Buried in obscurity and ripe for reintroduction, it delivers top-shelf bizarro derangement, gonzo action, transcendental fever dreams and beyond.”

Alamo Drafthouse’s Terror Tuesday programmer Zack Carlson, says “1940s scientists put years of study into creating the nuclear bomb, but it wasn’t until the first tests at Los Alamos that they realized its inhuman powers of absolute destruction. Four decades later, filmmaker David Prior similarly unveiled SLEDGEHAMMER, a shot-on-VHS masterstroke of anti-intellectual decimation. On that day, cinema quietly crumbled into dust. Ted Prior (star of Deadly Prey; brother of the director) leads a cast of self-loathing alcoholics who face off against a shape-shifting, dimension-crossing spectre with a penchant for blunt object trauma. By the end, brains, bowels and Budweiser will be smeared across every inch of the walls.

A rewardingly lethal collision of ‘80s slasher video-vomit, suburban legend and unintentional surrealist art, Prior’s supernaturally disabled death opera is the most visionary migraine to ever pummel its way into your skull. If you survive it, you’ll never ever forget it.” Get tickets here http://drafthouse.com/movies/terror_tuesday_sledgehammer/austin.

Among the DVD’s bonus features will be the short segment “HAMMERTIME!,” where the Alamo’s
Terror Tuesday programmer Zack Carlson talks about the unique majesty of SLEDGEHAMMER and the unstoppable, incalculable power of ’80s shot-on-video horror in general.

Yesterday for Star Wars Day (May the 4th) Lucas Films announced that on May 5th, AKA TODAY, that the news would break announcing the features on the Star Wars Blu Ray sets.  The sets come in 3 versions: the original trilogy, the prequels turds, and the complete 6 film collection.  Here are the covers….

Special Features:

STAR WARS: THE COMPLETE SAGA ON BLU-RAY is presented in widescreen with 6.1 DTS Surround Sound. Special features include:

* DISC ONE – STAR WARS: EPISODE I THE PHANTOM MENACE
o Audio Commentary with George Lucas, Rick McCallum, Ben Burtt, Rob Coleman, John Knoll, Dennis Muren and Scott Squires
o Audio Commentary from Archival Interviews with Cast and Crew

* DISC TWO – STAR WARS: EPISODE II ATTACK OF THE CLONES
o Audio Commentary with George Lucas, Rick McCallum, Ben Burtt, Rob Coleman, Pablo Helman, John Knoll and Ben Snow
o Audio Commentary from Archival Interviews with Cast and Crew

* DISC THREE – STAR WARS: EPISODE III REVENGE OF THE SITH
o Audio Commentary with George Lucas, Rick McCallum, Rob Coleman, John Knoll and Roger Guyett
o Audio Commentary from Archival Interviews with Cast and Crew

* DISC FOUR – STAR WARS: EPISODE IV A NEW HOPE
o Audio Commentary with George Lucas, Carrie Fisher, Ben Burtt and Dennis Muren
o Audio Commentary from Archival Interviews with Cast and Crew

* DISC FIVE – STAR WARS: EPISODE V THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
o Audio Commentary with George Lucas, Irvin Kershner, Carrie Fisher, Ben Burtt and Dennis Muren
o Audio Commentary from Archival Interviews with Cast and Crew

* DISC SIX – STAR WARS: EPISODE VI RETURN OF THE JEDI
o Audio Commentary with George Lucas, Carrie Fisher, Ben Burtt and Dennis Muren
o Audio Commentary from Archival Interviews with Cast and Crew

* DISC SEVEN – NEW! STAR WARS ARCHIVES: EPISODES I-III
o Including: deleted, extended and alternate scenes; prop, maquette and costume turnarounds; matte paintings and concept art; supplementary interviews with cast and crew; a flythrough of the Lucasfilm Archives and more

* DISC EIGHT – NEW! STAR WARS ARCHIVES: EPISODES IV-VI
o Including: deleted, extended and alternate scenes; prop, maquette and costume turnarounds; matte paintings and concept art; supplementary interviews with cast and crew; and more.

* DISC NINE – THE STAR WARS DOCUMENTARIES
o NEW! Star Warriors (2007, Color, Apx. 84 Minutes) – Some Star Wars fans want to collect action figures…these fans want to be action figures! A tribute to the 501st Legion, a global organization of Star Wars costume enthusiasts, this insightful documentary shows how the super-fan club promotes interest in the films through charity and volunteer work at fundraisers and high-profile special events around the world.

o NEW! A Conversation with the Masters: The Empire Strikes Back 30 Years Later (2010, Color, Apx. 25 Minutes) – George Lucas, Irvin Kershner, Lawrence Kasdan and John Williams look back on the making of The Empire Strikes Back in this in-depth retrospective from Lucasfilm created to help commemorate the 30th anniversary of the movie. The masters discuss and reminisce about one of the most beloved films of all time.

o NEW! Star Wars Spoofs (2011, Color, Apx. 91 Minutes) – The farce is strong with this one! Enjoy a hilarious collection of Star Wars spoofs and parodies that have been created over the years, including outrageous clips from Family Guy, The Simpsons, How I Met Your Mother and more — and don’t miss “Weird Al” Yankovic’s one-of-a-kind music video tribute to The Phantom Menace!

o The Making of Star Wars (1977, Color, Apx. 49 Minutes) – Learn the incredible behind-the-scenes story of how the original Star Wars movie was brought to the big screen in this fascinating documentary hosted by C-3PO and R2-D2. Includes interviews with George Lucas and appearances by Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher.

o The Empire Strikes Back: SPFX (1980, Color, Apx. 48 Minutes) – Learn the secrets of making movies in a galaxy far, far away. Hosted by Mark Hamill, this revealing documentary offers behind-the-scenes glimpses into the amazing special effects that transformed George Lucas’ vision for Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back into reality!

o Classic Creatures: Return of the Jedi (1983, Color, Apx. 48 Minutes) – Go behind the scenes — and into the costumes — as production footage from Return of the Jedi is interspersed with vintage monster movie clips in this in-depth exploration of the painstaking techniques utilized by George Lucas to create the classic creatures and characters seen in the film. Hosted and narrated by Carrie Fisher and Billie Dee Williams.

o Anatomy of a Dewback (1997, Color, Apx. 26 Minutes) – See how some of the special effects in Star Wars became even more special two decades later! George Lucas explains and demonstrates how his team transformed the original dewback creatures from immovable rubber puppets (in the original 1977 release) to seemingly living, breathing creatures for the Star Wars 1997 Special Edition update.

o Star Wars Tech (2007, Color, Apx. 46 Minutes) – Exploring the technical aspects of Star Wars vehicles, weapons and gadgetry, Star Wars Tech consults leading scientists in the fields of physics, prosthetics, lasers, engineering and astronomy to examine the plausibility of Star Wars technology based on science as we know it today.

Of all the people that this is going to make angry, nobody will be more angry than Junk.  Now, I’m sure that this has been kicking around the rumor mill for a while now, and it isn’t like there aren’t other films inspired by Seven Samurai (The Magnificent Seven), but from what I’m understanding this is a full on remake.

The $60 million budgeted remake will be the contemporary version of the 1954 original film. According to Variety, the remake features a town in Northern Thailand recruits seven paramilitary contractors from around the world to defend the town from attacks.

I have a feeling this is going to turn into a weird version of crappy Jason Statham movie really, really quick.  Thanks Weinstein Company.  Thanks.

I will tell you one movie I’m super excited to see though, Takashi Miike’s Thirteen Assassins.

What do you think?

Thanks Latino Review

If you have ever spent more than 5 minutes with the Producer, you will know that her grammar skills put librarians to shame.  She once walked into the HQ of Websters and smacked a bitch because a comma was out of place.  Now, if you’ve ever read anything I’ve written, you will see how horrible I am at editing / spell checking.  But I am going to try really hard for this one… because, I want to show just how lame Hollywood is at this.

1. Two Weeks Notice

Sandra Bullock is so bad at acting the studio decided they didn’t want any type of ownership in this movie, including the grammar in the movie’s title.  No need for apostrophes here, good sir, we have Hugh Grant. He owns enough.

2. The Ladies Man

Another missing apostrophe!? What is this world coming to? Since it is written like this, we are to assume that he is a “man of the ladies” or more directly written “A Woman’s Dude.”  I think they wanted to have us think he was a “Lady’s Man.”  Ah well.

3. Honey, I Shrunk The Kids

A better title would have been “Honey, I Shrank The Kids” or even “Honey, I’ve Shrunk The Kids.” However, they opted out of this and decided to have Shrunk The Audience of intelligent movie goers. But didn’t they do that?  “Honey, We Shrunk The Audience?” Yeah.  And on that note, they also fucked the pooch with “Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves” and “Honey, I Blew Up The Kid” which when I went to see in the theater was completely different than I was hoping it was.

4. The 40 Year-Old Virgin

This one is just nasty.  Not the movie, but the implication due to the bad grammar.  I am guessing that the studio wanted us to think this movie was about a singular man, the age of 40 years, and at the current moment he was a virgin.  Instead, the title leads us to believe that we have 40 separate 1-year-olds who are also virgins.  Well, I would hope so.

5. Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Leaving off that question mark just gave Abbott and Costello another round up at bat.  “Who framed Roger Rabbit.”  “He did?  That guy’s an asshole.”

6. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life

What the hell is this? An SAT test?

Lara Croft : Tomb Radier  ——–  Cradle of Life : Franchise disaster

7. Law Abiding Citizen

There should be a hyphen between “law” and “abiding.”  Sorry Jamie Foxx.  Otherwise, what we have now is a law abiding the citizen.  And if this is a clever twist on the grammar rule, than I am calling this the most obtusely intelligently used title for a stupid fucking movie ever.

8. Eight Legged Freaks

Go ahead.  By now, I bet you have it figured out.  I bet you can do this one all on your own.  Did you?  Congrats, gold stars!  Without the hyphen between “Eight” and “Legged” what we have is truly a scary movie about freaks with legs!  OH THE HUMANITY!  Stop those freaks that are legged.

9. Marley & Me

OK, this one might be correct, but seeing as it has Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston in it, I am doubting it.  If the title is referring to a sentence like “Marley and me are going to the park,” then you should be shot in the face with a flare gun.  The only thing worse than that is something my mom drove into my skull as a kid and that’s “Me and Marley are going out,” where she would aptly turn and say “Is that Marley being mean to you again?”  It taught me correctly.  Still, the movie should have been called “Marley & I” or simply “The Dog Dies In The End.”

10. You Got Served

Oh Jesus Christ. My head hurts.